spring fever photography

Today's post is simply an opportunity to show off some of my favorite pictures from the last couple of months. Spring is such a beautiful time of year, full of rebirth, bright colors, and light. It has been a wonderful time to pull out my camera and practice. I've decided that my favorite genre of photography (next to family) is nature.

Here's why:

         First flowers of Spring!
 

 These windows are on an old building in downtown Provo. I fell in love with the vine.


This Spring I am gaining a true appreciation for water and figuring out my favorite style of it. There's the frozen water look, like this picture of ripples, or the extended shutter flowing water look as seen in the photos from Bridal Veil Falls below. I think I like a happy medium. My goal this summer is to perfect my water shots.

...Hikes to waterfalls anyone?

   

It recently rained in the valley, which means it snowed on the peaks, which made the gorgeous combination below. 

(Landscape photography is 98% luck...right conditions, right lighting, right landscape...)

( ...and sometimes it is all about perspective.)

                        

When I take pictures of beautiful scenery such as this, I feel like I am thanking our Creator for the amazing gifts He has given to bring us joy. I love practicing taking pictures on my camera in the effort to more perfectly capture that beauty. I still have much to learn, but it is a journey that is not only strengthening my talent, but also bringing me closer to God. 

I saw a quote a few weeks back that I really like: 

“A camera is a tool for 

learning how to see 

without a camera.”

- Dorothea Lange

That exactly describes my journey. The more I take pictures, the more I see things I didn't see before, details that I missed, and beauty that I passed by. Our challenge as human beings is to look beyond the surface of life to see what lies beyond it, to see what else is there. Usually those other layers are more beautiful and rich than the first.

faith: stepping into the dark

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year, "Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown." And he replied, "Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than a light and safer than a known way."

- Minnie Louise Haskins

A week or so ago, I was contemplating the unknowns of my life and wishing the Lord would just show me the next couple of steps so I would know for sure what I should do. The principle given in a general conference talk several years ago came to mind: walking by faith is taking a step into the darkness and seeing God light the next step. That's the way my mind remembered it anyway. As I thought of this, the Spirit taught me a different way to look at it: faith is taking a step into the dark and seeing God light that step, then He might hint which direction I need to turn to take the next step, but that step will still be in the dark. I realized that my whole life I wished that God would do it the first way, let me take one step in the dark and then clearly guide me the next couple of steps, but I realized that I have not been truly trusting in God or walking by faith. He's teaching me how to trust a bit more, to take a few more steps blindly in the dark, and to hold on tightly to His hand. 

I'm understanding better the saying: "Become as a little child." Like my nephew in this photo, a little child trusts deeply in their parents and grandparents, trusts completely that their parents are going to never lead them astray. I know deep down that my Heavenly Father will not let me stray far without warning me first. He will never lead me down bad paths. So as I trust Him, He will guide me when He needs to. I am so grateful for a very steady hand to hold on the unknown paths life leads. 

Just thought of another connection: the iron rod of Lehi's dream. When we hold to the word of God, we will always make it home. Why? because doing so keeps us close to the Spirit, God's messenger. So when we hold to the scriptures we also holding onto God's hand.    

the curve balls of my life

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to write.

Life is a funny thing. One of its favorite things to do is throw us curve balls, game changing pitches that throw our personal life plans out the window and make us start at ground zero again. These fateful pitches can be something of sorrow like death or health issues that arise. But they can also be something that brings great joy. They can grow so slowly that they sneak up on you without your notice or come on so suddenly that you have no idea what just hit you. My life is full of these game changers.Here are just a few:

Right after I finished my junior year of college, I had no plans to serve a mission. My twin sister was busy getting her papers ready to send in, and I was auditioning for the marching band and trying to figure out how I would survive without her. Not one month after the semester ended, God wound up for the curve ball. We were on our way home from a family trip and a stupor of thought overcame me, forcing me to put down the book I had been reading. As I thought about my worries of next semester, an outside thought slide past my mind: I could serve a mission. It was a punch to my spirit. It came out of nowhere and I argued with God for a good minute. I waited a whole day to tell anyone, and because the Holy Ghost would not let me live the feeling down, I broke down and told my mom. She was overjoyed. I started my papers, got my call the same time as my sister, served faithfully and have never regretted my choice.

I remember countless curve balls on my mission. Potential investigators suddenly progressing, miracle baptisms, converts dropping off the face of the earth, companion changes, transfers, training, etc. Each and every experience, good and bad, built a roller coaster of an experience that has made me infinitely stronger than I was before.

A slow comer was my tendinitis. I play oboe and struggled with my shoulders, hands, and wrists since high school. When I got to college, it did all right for a while, and then got worse, but I went on. I thought maybe 18 months on a mission would give them the break they needed, but it was just as bad when I returned. I got part way through that first semester back and knew it was bad, so I bought a fancy thumb rest and started physical therapy. I would have good days and bad days, but it never really improved. By January, I was getting pretty frustrated. I remember having one therapy session during which I was close to tears the whole time. When I finished, I got in my car and immediately broke down crying in frustration. This was my last year in the oboe studio, and I wanted to play, to push myself, and become a wonderful performer. I had been thinking about doing a recital too. I basically yelled at God in one of the most outspoken, heartfelt prayers I've ever given. After a few minutes, and my temper cooling down, the Spirit whispered to me my answer: I had nothing to prove as a performer. I was already a good musician and would always be so, whether I played oboe or not. God wanted me to be a teacher, not a performer. From then, though I was still saddened by my condition, I trusted God more. I talked to my professor, and we lightened my playing load. I still had several small successes as a player and a reed maker that semester, and I think I became a better musician by being humbled in that way than I would have in my way.

Now, a good portion of my curve balls come in the form of dating. For example, I always thought growing up that I would be one of those girls who got married young, before they were old enough to go on a mission. Well, that didn't happen. In fact, the only guys I dated before my mission were pre-missionaries themselves...go figure. For a year after my mission, I barely dated. No one was asking. Then, game changer, I've had three boyfriends in the last 4 months....That's not normal for me at all. Each one has it's story of meeting, going on dates, becoming closer, deciding to date officially, and then breaking it off. And still, I'm unmarried (what's ironic is that my twin sister who dated even less than me, found one guy, dated, got engaged, and is now happily married...go figure she would be the first one). I often ask myself and God when it will be my turn. Why, if my sister could get married after dating so few, did I have to endure so many heartbreaks? That answer has come on slowly, piece by piece. My sister and I had different lessons to learn, or the same lesson in different ways. As I've looked inward, I have found my many weaknesses. I have a hard time trusting others completely. I have a hard time confronting conflict. I had a hard time being myself and communicating clearly. I didn't have a clue what it means to really love outside of my family. Each relationship I've had, each guy I've dated, has taught me not only the qualities I really want in a future eternal companion, but also the qualities I want in myself. What I bring to the table is just as important as what the guy does. So I'm learning how to be my best self, how to give of myself unselfishly, how to communicate, how to trust, how to love. And it has also solidified in my mind and heart the standard of living I want in my home, dictating what kind of man I really do want to marry.

Now curve balls come great and small, quickly or over a long period of time, and as crazy as it sounds, I'm grateful for them. If my life was the way I wanted it 10 years ago, I would never have had the experiences I had or learned the lessons I learned or became the woman I am today. I worked with a substitute teacher a few months back and she told me something interesting. She said that she has learned when she makes plans, God always changes them. Her advice to me was to make plans so that God could break them. My words to her now would be: Thank you God for botched plans. So, no matter what lies ahead, I'll press forward, trying to figure out what's coming next, and then roll with the punches when they come. Faith is moving forward trusting that God's got everything under control, despite those pesky curve balls.

Gratitude: remember the Lord

 I was reading in the Book of Mormon today at the end of Alma. The 20 or so chapters before this are full of stories of war and injustice and God's hand in the lives of the faithful. In chapter 62, Mormon makes an observation that stuck out to me today(Alma 62;41, 48-51):

41 But behold, because of the exceedingly great length of the war between the Nephites and the Lamanites many had become hardened, because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.48 And the people of Nephi began to prosper again in the land, and began to multiply and to wax exceedingly strong again in the land. And they began to grow exceedingly rich.49 But notwithstanding their riches, or their strength, or their prosperity, they were not lifted up in the pride of their eyes; neither were they slow to remember the Lord their God; but they did humble themselves exceedingly before him. 50 Yea, they did remember how great things the Lord had done for them, that he had delivered them from death, and from bonds, and from prisons, and from all manner of afflictions, and he haddelivered them out of the hands of their enemies. 51 And they did pray unto the Lord their God continually, insomuch that the Lord did bless them, according to his word, so that they did wax strong and prosper in the land.

 In verse 41, Mormon compares two kinds of people who went through the same experience: ones that grew bitter with hate and disappointment and ones who became deeply humbled. What made the difference? According to C. Max Caldwell, it was the way they viewed God:

"These people all had basically the same experience. The war was the same length for all people; yet out of the same experience some were hardened and some were softened. What made the difference? It was what they thought of God and His Son."

All throughout the Book of Mormon there are stories describing how people react to trials and blessings alike. Many times, pride is a ruling factor in bringing down nations through hate, complacence, greed, etc. But there are yet other times when humility reigns and the people prosper. So I asked myself as I read these verses, "Where am I?" Am I like those who hardened their hearts and stop seeing the hand of God in front of me, or am I like those who see God as a being who loves unconditionally, looks for His hand, and trusts in it come what may? Sometimes I think I lean towards the first, in moments of intense frustration or sorrow, but thankfully, I usually fall under the second category. So what's the secret? I think it all has to do with remembering God and having gratitude for what we have.

Pres. Spencer W. Kimball once said, " When you look in the dictionary for the most important word, do you know what it is? It could be remember...our greatest need is to remember."

On a similar but deeper strain, Sister Susan L. Warner said, "Satan wants us to be slow to remember what we have received and heard. He wants us to minimize and even forget the quiet witnesses of the Spirit that have told us who we really are."

If God wants us to remember and Satan wants us to forget, remembering must be a pretty important principle. A main reason why the Nephites were blessed so abundantly was because the remembered what the Lord had done for them and they LET that memory humble them.

I realized that in whatever circumstances we are placed, with whatever blessings we are or are not given, it is crucial to our happiness and eternal growth to remember the Lord our God always and be grateful for what He has given us. That's why it is a covenant that we make every week when we partake of the sacrament, because if we keep our Heavenly Father and Brother close to us, Satan has a hard time getting in.

Really though, we need to remember Him because He is there. Because He is the one who gave us all we have. He is the one who can take it all away or give us even more. He is the one who knows us better than anyone else. He knows our innermost needs better than we do and He will give us those things. By serving Him and His children, studying His words, and talking with Him everyday we show Him our love and gratitude for the countless tender mercies the Lord has poured down upon us.

He is my rock and my mountain of peace. He is my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ is His Son. I cannot contain my gratitude for all they have blessed me with. Thank you.

winter wonder falls

So this post is just to show off some pictures I've gotten to take recently at Bridal Veil Falls. A few posts ago I said I loved capturing moments. Well, I also love capturing the beauty of nature, the works of God's hands. So this post is for doing just that: capturing the beauty of nature, this time in a winter setting (plus a couple of moments). I have to give credit to my friend Jared who helped edit some of these and posed for one too. And also my roommate Emily who willingly modeled for a couple photos.

exactness in obedience

 On my mission I heard one phrase repeated probably more that any other phrase (well, except for "I know that...", "It's in the Lord's hands", and "Dear Heavenly Father..."). That phrase is, "Obedience brings blessings. Exact obedience brings miracles." While this is a concept I trusted in and practiced full-heartedly during my mission days, it's one that I have not really thought about in normal life until recently. I became a temple worker late last year and have had several experiences that have taught me about the importance of obedience in my life. There are promised blessings great and small that I want dearly in my life. Obedience will open doors and make me worthy of those blessings, and probably make me a happier person anyway.

I won't talk about the experiences mentioned above in detail because of their sacredness, but I want to discuss a couple general ideas that have been swimming around my head recently. The first is the importance of being obedient simply because we are in the service of God, a perfect being, and we want to be worthy of His blessings. Whether we are currently called as a full-time missionary, a temple worker, or just a small calling in a ward, we are still participating in the work of God. Each calling, great or small, has an effect in the eternities in the lives that calling touches. The Lord has the canny ability to use imperfect, weak people to bring about amazing things, but I have found in my life that the closer I am to the Lord, the more opportunities I am given in my life to serve and be the Lord's hands. As a visiting teacher, I have two sisters and my companion who might be touched by my warm smile on a hard day, a friendly moment of random chatter at a lonely time,  or my testimony on a principle that they are struggling with. Yet, if I am not doing what I need to have the Spirit with me, would I give that smile, take the moment to reach out of myself and talk with that sister, or give the right message during a visit? Similarly, in the temple, VERY sacred ordinances are performed there in which I get to participate. My personal worthiness and way of living affects how well I can perform my duties and what type of Spirit I am able to feel and share in the house of the Lord. The way I dress, how I use my time, and what media I watch/listen to affects me in ways I didn't always realize before. When we are obedient to the Lord, He can trust us with the children He loves so dearly, and He can trust us to be His hands.

Obedience, perfect obedience is not easy. I have my favorite transgressions just like the next person, and it takes a lot of humility, and sometimes heartbreak, to give those stumbling blocks up and hand them over to Jesus Christ. Sometimes its a TV show, a song, or a favorite pass time. Sometimes its laziness, holding onto a past sin and guilt, or withholding love from yourself. Sometimes its giving up without even trying, denying someone else love, or not magnifying a calling. As I typed this, several of these were revelations to myself too. What are we not giving up? What are we not doing? We have a Savior who took everything onto Himself so that we wouldn't have to suffer as He did. He took on Him our pains, our sins, our weaknesses, our mistakes, etc. and His invitation is for us to let Him into our lives so that we can taste of that Atonement, of the peace and cleansing and strengthening. How do we receive that power in our lives? Obedience to God's commandments--those of commission (actively doing something wrong) and omission (not doing something right).

This is all fine and dandy, but does obedience really work? Is it really worth it to watch what I wear or what media I choose? Is it worth it to take time to think about what I'm praying or actually study my scriptures? Is it worth it to attend FHE or go to the temple often? The answer is simple: yes. Following the commandments and guidance of God brings meaning to life, peace in hard times, an added measure of the Holy Ghost to answer questions and guide our steps, more true love and joy, and many other blessings we couldn't even imagine. So next time you think you want to slip on your study that day, think twice. What blessings are you passing up?

There is a small picture in our hallway that my roommate put up. It is a simple sketch of a little girl holding on tightly to a small teddy bear. Christ is standing in front of her with one hand held out to her and one holding a huge teddy bear behind His back. Written above the little girl are the words, "But I love it God," and above Christ, "Just trust me,.." The little girl didn't realize that God wanted to give her an even greater blessing than what she had, but she had to give up what she had in order to have the other. Faith means taking a step into the dark and watching God light the next step in front of you. "Exact obedience brings miracles."

in the house of God

On the side of each temple there is a phrase that says: "Holiness to the Lord. The House of the Lord." If memory serves me right, these words were first coined by Brigham Young to be engraved on the Salt Lake City Temple. These words describes these building perfectly.

I have always known that temples were holy places, and I have often gained spiritual strength from spending time within those walls. I have times that have little significance beyond that little boost, times when I have sacred experiences I can't write down here, and times when I sit and have all out "heart to hearts" with my Heavenly Father about my life and the way it's going. Today was one of those latter times. I had the day off and felt drawn to the temple. So I went, and the Spirit I felt there was powerful, moments that filled my soul with deep warmth. The Lord was touching my heart, preparing it for something-- inspiration, revelation, I'm not completely sure, but I stayed there a long while after I finished the work I went there to do and had one of my heart to hearts. It had been a while since I had done that, and it felt good to talk in depth through things with my Heavenly Father. I know what you're thinking: I don't have to go to the temple to pray like that; and usually, I would say you were right. Yet today it was a refuge for me, a place devoid of distraction like food, sleep, roommates, and technology. I needed that. I needed to be in a place where I had nothing better to do than turn my thoughts to spiritual, eternal things. I am so grateful for my time at the temple today.

Interestingly enough, I have been finding that the more I spend time there, as a temple worker and as a patron, the more comfortable I get in the house of the Lord and the closer I draw to Him. I guess it is kind of like when we spend time in someone's home. The more time we spend there the more comfortable and familiar we are with the paintings on the walls, the feel of the couches and chairs, the personalities of the people who live there, and the presence of the Spirit that may or may not be there. I count my blessings for the opportunity I have to spend so much time in my Heavenly Father's home, to grow more comfortable there and to feel His holy
presence so often.