Family: Eternal

It's amazing how the love for family, even extended family, grows with time. I got to see some of my extended family today after over 3 years, and it was a breath of fresh air. Upon seeing them, my heart just filled with deep love and excitement, and I couldn't keep myself from hugging every one of them (after I got over the shock of the two who are now 1 or more feet taller than last I saw them!).

It was a small taste of when I was riding down that escalator in the Idaho Falls airport, coming home from South Carolina. The only things that brought me home were my future and my family. I remember being sooo nervous walking off that small airplane, picking up my carry on bag, and then walking up that airway, walking through the small airport, and stepping onto that escalator. Fear filled my heart because I knew I was different now (a good different) and I was afraid of the changes in my family while I was gone. How would I fit in? Life was about to begin. Could I handle it? Oh no, life was beginning!!!! I saw my brothers and then the rest of my family through the security glass doors begin standing up as they saw me coming down. They just stood there, with smiles on their faces and pure joy in seeing me again, after so long, so many experiences, so much change. There they were, the people on this earth who I loved more than anyone else, because they had stood by me for so long, because they had a huge part in making me who I am, because I am sealed to them forever. I didn't know if I should cry or laugh or run or stop or...my feet moved, my head held high, my eyes tearing, and my heart breaking. I knew if I came home to them, it was all over, but I was so happy to be with them. I knew it had to happen. Life had to go on, because there were so many amazing things waiting in the future.

My mom was first. We embraced for a long moment, crying, whispering our love and gratitude, hugging more tightly. My dad was next. My heart filled with gratitude as I hugged him that I was blessed with a father such as him, a worthy Priesthood holder, protector, care-giver, and presider. I never realized how blessed I was. My sister, my dear twin sister was next. We had been through so much together! I whispered in her ear during our tight embrace, "I made it to the top," and, "Thank you for serving faithfully!" After 19 months apart, serving together in the work of the Lord, we were together again, having both finished with honor. What joy filled my soul! Then came my three brothers and their wives, little Jared, the new addition, and then mom again, and my sister again...I didn't want to stop hugging them or touching them. They were there, really there. I was with them again, and I loved them sooo much.

I refused to let my oldest brother roll my carry on, but undaunted, my brother's three were first at the baggage claim to grab my other two suitcases. How I love them dearly. I have such amazing examples of amazing brothers (now amazing husbands and fathers/fathers to be), and I am so grateful. I pulled my coat out of my carry on, and we walked out into the cold Idaho Spring wind. Snow on the ground, family all around. I was home. I was home. I was with them. We drove to Blackfoot. I was released from my missionary service (that was so hard to hear), and we went to a nice restaurant to eat. I basked in their presence. I absorbed their words. I took in every moment, still feeling as if I were in a dream. Yet, sitting there, with them, I knew my life was moving forward. I was leaping into the next step on my journey. I didn't want to let go of all I had been a part of for 18 months of my life, but life was going on whether I went with it or not.

I want to live it with all my heart.

Heaven would not be heaven if I could not have my family there with me. The power to seal our families together for all time and eternity has been brought back to the earth. It is available in Christ's true church. To me, there is little that can compare with the amazing power of the family, to support, guide, lift, strengthen, bless, teach, and love. They effect your entire personality and your very existence! It is a model of our heavenly home. It is divine and precious. No wonder Satan, Lucifer, is using all his tools of destruction, pain, anger, malice, pride, immorality, pornography, substance abuse, apathy, and indifference to tear it a part! If he can destroy the family unit by forcing in anger, infidelity, false reality, and even trying to change the very definition of what a family is, he will seriously cripple society as a whole and the very progression of our eternal souls.

Whether you have an amazing family, or only dream of one, I can testify that they do and can exist. I am part of one. It's not perfect. We're all still learning, but it is strong. Families like that are exactly what God wants us to have. And I am so glad to know those sacred relationships can and do last beyond the grave!

Oh, how I love my family.

ramblings of the heart

Today I was contemplating what the future will hold, and the dreams of my young heart. I think every girl has dreams and desires of their heart. Some dreams are given up for others and some desires change for better ones. I have a dream. I have a heart-felt desire, but I have no idea whether my dream will come true or whether the Lord lead me down a better, different path.

I have a Prince Charming who I have liked from the very first moment I met him years ago. He is off serving the Lord right now and gets back in a matter of months. We became good friends before he left and have written occasional letters. I haven't thought about him very much for a long while because his return date seemed so far away, but as it draws nearer I can't help but wonder what he will be like when he returns. I can't help but wonder if he will be my true Prince or if fate will bring another to my tower. For the last couple of months I've been giddy and my heart has run rampant with dreams. This last week, it stopped. I'm not sure why, but the sudden change in emotion has caused me to reflect and look deeper into myself and to think more sincerely about my dream. I have always acknowledged God's hand in my life and want the right Prince to be the one who will call my name so I may throw down my hair and invite him into my life for eternity. I am grateful now for the change in my heart. Without the giddiness and heart-racing emotions of a stricken young girl, I can think more clearly and accept the will of the Lord more readily. If he be the one who comes to my tower, I will be the happiest damsel on the face of the planet. If another who is equally worthy be the one, I will still rejoice in the wonders of love and life.

No matter what events unfold in the future, I know I will wait to enter the temple until it is the right time, in the right place, and with the right person. I am excited to meet the future worthy young man who will be mine, and I his, for the rest of eternity.

"Don't quit. Keep playing"

My sister posted this on her facebook. It hit me in a powerful way because I'm a musician and because I often feel a little inadequate both in music and life in general. I've had trial a plenty in my life, and I have personally felt the Master's arms of comfort, support, guidance, and enabling power surround me. I know He lives, and He loves every one of His children in a very sincere and personal way. He knows each of us individually by name and He knows our true potential. One of my greatest desires, even more than becoming an accomplished oboist, is to fulfill the potential my Master sees in me. I never want to disappoint Him, so I trudge along, stubbornly enduring to the end with complete faith and trust in the omnipotent hand leading me through this life.

Consider this story: A young piano student's mother, wishing to encourage him, “bought tickets for a performance of the great Polish pianist, Paderewski. The night of the concert arrived and the mother and son found their seats near the front of the concert hall. While the mother visited with friends, the boy slipped quietly away.

“Suddenly, it was time for the performance to begin and a single spotlight cut through the darkness of the concert hall to illuminate the grand piano on stage. Only then did the audience notice the little boy on the bench, innocently picking out ‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star.’

“His mother gasped, but before she could move, Paderewski appeared on stage and quickly moved to the keyboard. He whispered to the boy, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And then, leaning over, the master reached down with his left hand and began filling in the bass part. Soon his right arm reached around the other side, encircling the child, to add a running obbligato. Together, the old master and the young novice held the crowd mesmerized.

“In our lives, unpolished though we may be, it is the Master who surrounds us and whispers in our ear, time and time again, ‘Don’t quit. Keep playing.’ And as we do, He augments and supplements until a work of amazing beauty is created. He is right there with all of us, telling us over and over, ‘Keep playing.’” (As quoted by James E. Faust, Oct. 1999 General Conference, General Releif Society Session.)