Answer to Prayer

I had a wonderful experience last week that has strengthened my testimony.

I decided a couple weeks ago that I should find an occupational therapist down in Provo where I am at school to continue therapy and hopefully finally take care of my tendinitis. I mentioned it to the therapist I had at home (he has given me therapy several times before and after I went to Alaska), and he said I should find one who is ASTYM(Augmented Soft Tissue Mobilization) certified. Dad and I searched on our health insurance website for approved therapists, then I searched on the ASTYM website. One name showed up on both lists. I got an excited feeling about that name. I wasn't sure if it was just nervousness or not, so I asked Mom how she felt about it (she being entitled to motherly inspiration). She told me she hadn't received any negative feelings, so it must be good. After deciding on this doctor I continued to feel an excited/nervous sensation and nothing negative. The next morning I felt happy and excited. I set up the appointment for Friday, and for the next couple of days that looming appointment had the center of my attention as I waited in joyful anticipation. The appointment went great and my doctor started the ASTYM treatment right away (a tapered plastic edge is dragged along the affected tendons to tramatize the area; I then have to do 6 streches 4-6 times a day to help the tissue mend itself properly.). I find it interesting that such a simple procedure does so much. I am grateful to the person who discovered it!

I have never felt so right about something in my life as I have about this. I feel like my prolonged prayers are in the process of being answered. Life is wonderful; God is in control, and in His timetable, all things will be accomplished according to His will. I know my Heavenly Father is aware of me, and that he loves me very much. The struggles I have endured have helped me grow, and I know now I am being blessed. After five more sessions, the tissue of my arm will be healed, God willing, and I will be able to enjoy life with pain-free arms. All is well

Look back and see how far you've come...

Have you ever felt like you will never be able to reach a dream or pursue a passion? Sometimes...sometimes it feels like that for me. It feels like I just don't have the strength to continue on the same course. The obstacle in front of me is too great. I stop in my tracks, look up and think, "I'll never conquer this...there's just no way". I feel like this almost every time, every time my wrist begins to ache doing a small task, every time my hand cramps up when I'm playing my oboe. I just can't conquer this tendinitis. I can't see the end, but I can't just quit either...

My mom recently had an ATV accident. It was her first time on one. She jumped off for fear of tipping (which can be deadly). She broke her shoulder, a few ribs, and her pelvis. My mom has a hard enough time moving around anyway because of a past injury to her leg, but now she is in almost constant pain and needs help to do most of her daily tasks such as taking medicine (she can't open the bottles), using the restroom, adjusting positions, getting water, getting food, etc. The first week and a half being out of the hospital were the hardest on her. Everything had to be done for her, she hurt all the time, and the shock of her injuries was sinking in. According to my dad, she was becoming depressed. We got home from Alaska, and Dad went back to work. Mom still gets frustrated because she can't do a whole lot for herself, but she has improved in multiple ways. She keeps trying to do more for in one week, one of my brothers is getting married in California (14 hour drive). She would give the world to be there. Even through the pain, I have watched her endure.

A week ago, I embarked on a slightly crazy adventure: to climb the tallest mountain in Idaho, Mt. Borah (12,662 ft). My singles' branch president does this every year and always invites everyone to join him. Before I go on, I should let you know that this trail to the top of the mountain is 3 1/2 Miles long and 1 Mile in elevation. The average trail is 20% grade (VERY steep). The last mile of the trail scrambles over rocks, shuffles across Chicken-out Ridge, slides on top a snow field, and climbs up a final rock face to the top...all can be done without climbing equipment. I had my doubts about how I would be able to handle such a trail, but my hopes were high, and I wasn't going to let my brother and sister have all the fun without me. We camped overnight at the trail head among other vehicles and tents. Then we were up at 4:30 AM the next morning to prepare for the hike. Our group of about 10 prayed in the dark just up the trail from the fence at 5:15 AM, and we began. I quickly knew that I would not be able to keep up with the rest of the group (a fact usually true whenever I go uphill due to my slight case of asthma and overall out-of-shape-ness). My sister was in the same boat. After about 15 minutes of trying to keep up, I and Rebekah stepped aside the trail and let the group pass. President Inskeep told us the night before that he would only go as fast as the slowest hiker. 10 minutes later after the group was ahead we saw a flashlight standing still. Inskeep kept his word and fell in slow steady step with us. During that first hour I thought many times that I might just have to stop and turn around. Though I paused often, I never turned around.

Soon after that (which was the easiest part of the trail) my lungs began to work a little better, utilizing as much oxygen as it could get, and I stopped heaving as heavily. We continued on slowly and the trail grew steeper. I looked back a while after first light and saw the valley spreading out below us. We were higher than I had thought we were. Inskeep constantly encouraged, "Look how far you've come," and "Slow and steady, this is a steep trail, and we still have a long ways to go". When we paused at the first ridge, I thought maybe I should turn back, but I didn't. The next long portion of the trail up to the tree-line was steeper still, heading almost strait up--no switch-backs. We traveled even more slowly with the goal of breaking the tree-line in mind. At one pause, Pres. Inskeep shared an analogy with us that had just occurred to him: Satan tries to convince us all to stay in the valley. God encourages us to climb the mountain. You would think that life in the valley is better for it is easier and you can just relax by the river. But up on the mountain, though the way may be very hard, you can look back and see a bigger picture. Why would you ever want to stay down there when you can see all that.

Rebekah and I only made it to the first ridge above the tree-line before any of the rock scrambling, but I believe the climb was worth it. We had a good view of Borah Peak in one direction and the valley and parallel mountain range sprawled below us in the other. We sat and watched the sun rise over the peak and then headed back down (a task that is almost as difficult as going up). Rebekah and I regretted not being able to make it to the top as we had wished, but when I thought back to where we had reached, I was so glad I had not turned back before that first ridge. I was reminded on that adventure that the best things in life don't come easy. Most of the time life will be downright difficult. But it's through those most difficult times that we must remember the end goal and plow on, never giving up.

I trust that even though portions of my life are really difficult right now, God knows the greater purpose in it all. As I accept my weakness, He will teach me how to grow stronger. I trust that one day I won't look to the future and see more pain. One day I will be able to play without the ache and cramps. That day may not be today, but as I seek the help I need in therapy and in God, I WILL OVERCOME. One day I will look back, see how far I've come, and thank my Heavenly Father for putting me through all the hardship. The view from there will be worth everything else.

The small 30 passenger plane lifted off the tarmac into the air. As the few buildings bellow shrank, a wide view of green and brown tundra dotted by ponds sprawled out below. Grey mountains lay in the distance. The white misty ceiling of clouds loomed closer and then engulfed the plane. Soon the craft was above that ceiling, gliding between it and a second that was streaked with blue and pink...

5 weeks + 400 pictures + 15 cold showers + 1 mosquito bite + 10 extra pounds + Bristol Bay sweat pants + a few new friends + several thousand green ones = oodles of memories of my second year working in Naknek, Alaska.

Some of my favorite memories include a gorgeous view of white cotton candy clouds over the river after a week of rain, Brandon constantly nodding his head, wonderful views from the airplane, Abby's squeaking laugh, the sleepover in room 7, the mealtimes when we would sit and talk long after we were all finished eating, the lazy hours hanging with the Jades, mug up after mug up, Sarah's hugs, Mike's Civil War beard, the rubber band ball, Amy's adorable laugh and posture when she's eating, Carlos's constant attempts to lift us by our nostrils, Abigail chasing Gerald around the gear room, Jojo saying "Na, na", singing parties and movie nights, tomato soup and grilled cheese, Sunday devotionals, hellos and goodbyes.

I hope I will get to go back next year. The wild spirit of Alaska is calling me back...

Off I go to Alaska

In a little less than two days, I'll be leaving on a jet plane surrounded by a few friends and family. Destination: Naknek, Alaska. Time: 4-6 weeks.

I'm excited and calm, wary and happy. My sister, brother, our good friend, and I went together last summer, so I am familiar with the atmosphere and life at a fish cannery. We worked, struggled, laughed, slept, and earned during that month last year. This year, my brother, sister, and I will be joined by a cousin, two of her friends, an old coworker of my brother's, and another friend. I am tickled to know we will have so many comrades working alongside us. I am intrigued to see what laughs, trials, and experiences this group will share.

My only fear for this year is that my tendinitis will worsen because of a constant use of my hands. I recently began physical therapy and have had intense sessions often over the last week and a half. With this therapy breaking up the calcium deposits (scar tissue) and the tips from my therapist (who happens to be the bishop of my parents' ward :) ) I am well on my way to healing and prevention. I think as long as I am true to the doctor's prescription, I won't have too much difficulty.

Well, off I soon will go with a full day of travel and many weeks in the wild frontier of Alaska where bears and moose roam, King Salmon swim (and are soon caught up in a net, dumped into a tender, unloaded at a dock, and processed for canning or freezing...), mountains tower, tundras dominate, and I drink in the beauty of the green landscape and gray river beyond the dock from my chilly bunkhouse at the AGS facility 1 mile from Naknek, 3 miles from Bristol Bay, and 40 miles to the Bearing Sea. Wish us luck!

3 tools for life

My mom made an interesting comment this evening as we were talking about cub scouts and things from my childhood. She stated that she has always believed that if you can give a child integrity, the ability to read, and creativity, that child is set for life. As I reflect back on my childhood and recent education courses, I know that is what she gave me, and she was smart in doing so.

From a young age I didn't usually do things that were untrustworthy, but several instances come to mind that have left a mark in my conscience. One of the worst things we could do as kids was lie to our parents. I think lying was the one thing that reaped the harshest punishments. The only time I got grounded was when my sister, and I did not tell Mom where we were and then disobeyed her by going to our friend's house when she told us not too. There was another instance when a mess of peanut butter and jelly was left on the counter. For some reason, Mom didn't simply clean it up; she insisted that whoever left it should clean it up. Well, no one admitted to the deed, and we couldn't do anything until someone confessed and cleaned it. I think we must have all forgotten whether we had done it or not, but finally one of my brothers volunteered to clean the mess, though he did not know who made it. It was a strong lesson on the importance of honesty. The other that I always remember is the only time my mom ever gave a few licks on the backside to one of my siblings was when one of my brothers didn't tell her the truth.

The ability to read unleashes an amazing realm of possibilities. Not only can one explore other worlds and lives through novels and stories, but she can inform herself in any subject, have more opportunities to do critical thinking, have power over her own life and learning. If one can read...etc. I remember my mom and my siblings sitting down and helping me as I first began learning to read. Once my mom and several of us kids sat in the hallway of our house, and she read a Dr. Seuss book to us. Dr. Seuss was one of my mom's favorite authors. We grew up mainly on his books. It is amazing what a simple thing like literacy can do to change a person into something better.

Now, creativity is a little different, but it was one thing my mom taught us very well, and it's a tactic she utilizes at almost every cub scout meeting she holds. Because she encouraged it so heavily by coming up with strange, on the fly projects using everyday materials, allowed us to spend hours and hours building dirt cities in the back yard, encouraged our imaginations by reading to us, forced us to turn off the TV, didn't give in to the "popular" toys, and vocalized her views; we assimilated similar traits. We would sometimes rather spend hours building Lego houses, snow villages, or dirt towns than watch TV. We never had a game boy or X-box to "entertain" us. Our main computer games were things such as Roller-coaster Tycoon or Age of Empires (over which we tended to fight and from which we eventually shied away). The older computer games were things that dealt with solving puzzles, reading, or solving math problems. I could go on and on, but the main jist is that because she insisted on providing such a rich environment for creativity, problem solving, and exploration, we gained the abilities to do things creatively, solve our own problems, and seek new territories.

I am very grateful for the stubborn, creative, intelligent, resourceful, honest, loving, confident young woman that my mom shaped me to be. And thanks Dad for encouraging her methods and expounding upon them. I hope to do the same for my future children.

He's smart

It never ceases to amaze me that the Lord knows exactly what He is doing when He does it.

For instance, he knew that I needed to be spiritually challenged this summer, so he put me in the Relief Society presidency in my young single adult branch. I could have slid by with another easy calling like what I've had in my school wards--on the enrichment meeting or music committee--or past callings in the branch like being on the activities committee. No, this summer He knew I would slack a little if He didn't push (not going inactive or anything, just not being as diligent personal study-wise), and He knew I could bless someone else's life in the meantime.

Thank you God for giving me what I needed.

The word "fantasmigorical"

To whoever reads this blog,

I've considered creating a blog for a long while, but haven't done it until today. I see it as an opportunity to share little tidbits of life that are funny, inspiring, contemplative, interesting, sad, true, and wonderful!

"The word fantasmigorical was created on the spot by my twin sister. I don't know what it means except for being a strange combination of a couple of words. If we study the words from which this could be contrived we see fantastic and migorical. Fantastic or fantasy are self explanatory as something amazing and wonderful and maybe mystical. Migorical reminds me of allegorical which is symbolic or figurative. That makes the word fantasmigorical a description of a fantastic symbol. I believe life is a fantasmigorical thing."

As my sister informed me though, fantasmigorical is in the urban dictionary: Quite simply the BEST word ever devised. It's a mixture of the words, 'fantastic', 'amazing' and 'magical' all in one juicy little package. It's important not to overuse the word. It's reserved for when ordinary, boring words just won't cut it. I personally think this makes more sense and therefore accept the definition.

To let all of you know, I am an member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I am a musician who loves to play oboe. Hope you enjoy my blog :)